You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
