The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
