Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
