watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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