I've blown a few things in my day
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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