garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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