Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
