I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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