You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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