I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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