well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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