I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love having hate sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
