yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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