if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We need to rekindle our bromance
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
