im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
