Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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