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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

  (708): View more from Illinois

  WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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• (518): View more from New York

  His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina

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• (353): View more from

  The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people

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• (206): View more from Washington

  2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick

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• (716): View more from New York

  He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila

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