He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
