Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
