we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
