Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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