I didn't shave. On purpose
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize