this boner is exhausting
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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