wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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