Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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