After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
