I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize