we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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