Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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