he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
