No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you had me at cake vodka
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
