he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
