I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize