I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
