Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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