So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
