Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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