Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
