the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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