I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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