My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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