i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
