Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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