Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
