So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize