That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
