break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
