Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
