she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
