Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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