apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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