Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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