yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
