you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
