Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
