dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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