Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize