i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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