Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
