I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
