this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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